my son doesn't care about anything

Experience is often the best teacher. You want your teen to be able to trust that they can come to you for anything. Im not giving up; Ive committed myself that Id let him be because what Im doing now, what his father is doing now, isnt working. He had quit school last year and started job Corps, and he was there for 2 months but for various reasons, he didn't get any education or classes while there. Verywell Mind articles are reviewed by board-certified physicians and mental healthcare professionals. Have your teen come up with one to three long-term goals for their future where do they want to be in 5 or 10 years? How adaptive and maladaptive humor styles relate to depression. Instead of being consumed by thoughts about things you cant change and a future you cant predict, your energy is better spent focusing on the things you can do in the present moment to help yourself feel better. Neurotox Res. You might not have the energy to take on the entire project all at once, but making a little progress each day can help you stay on track and may eventually help you feel more motivated and accomplished. "addensity";a.AdLayout="adlayout";a.FooterCloseButton="footerclose";a.Interstitial="interstitial";a.RemoveVideoTitleWrapper="removevideotitlewrapper";a.StickyOutstream="stickyoutstream";a.StickyOutstreamOnStickyPlayer="sospp";a.VideoAdvancePlaylistRelatedPlayer="videoadvanceplaylistrp";a.MobileStickyPlayerPosition="mspp"})(A||(A={}));g=function(){function a(){this._timeOrigin=0}a.prototype.resetTimeOrigin=function(){this._timeOrigin=window.performance.now()};a.prototype.now=function(){try{return Math.round(window.performance.now()- I want my grown kids to live near me but I dont want to be selfish about it. Nothing matters anymore! Thats what her parents report in counseling, explaining how our daughters just feeling really sad, but shell get past it. How to Motivate an Underachieving Child He doesn't seem to care at all about how he looks or how his apartment looks. "__esModule",{value:!0});return n}({}) We all have them. What differences does anything make? exploded the high school senior. They're basically giving you a reason why they think they don't need to change or solve the problem differently. Parents in these two situations are vulnerable to severe distress when their now-grown children suddenly go radio silent. If these feelings are accompanied by other mental health symptoms such as sadness, hopelessness, irritability, changes in appetite, problems sleeping, or anxiety, talk to a healthcare provider. Pushing your own narrative wont get them to care. Sure, it doesn't look like they care. He doesnt try hard in school despite being an intelligent kid who is excellent in math and science. My 16yo son doesn't care about anything Hello everyone. ': Why You Might Feel This Way, 5 Things to Do If You Feel a Loss of Interest, What It Means if You're Bored In Your Relationship, Anhedonia: What to Do When You Can't Experience Pleasure, Why You May Not Know How to Connect With People, 'I Don't Need Friends': Why You Might Feel This Way, Dealing With No Support from Family When You're Depressed, Moderate Depression: Symptoms, Treatment, and Coping, How to Fight Depression Without Medication, Daily Tips for a Healthy Mind to Your Inbox, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline, Distinct subtypes of apathy revealed by the apathy motivation index, Assessment of anhedonia in adults with and without mental illness: a systematic review and meta-analysis. News conference Operation Family Affair (June 26, 2023) | media Get your child involved in volunteer work too. Things that can lower the effectiveness of the dopamine system include: Stress 2 Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) 3 Traumas such as abuse, natural disasters, violence, and death of a loved one 4 . Did those meetings result in a plan? A lack of emotion can be a concern if other warning signs of a mental health issue are also present. Elisais a well-known parenting writer who is passionate about providing research-based content to help parents make the best decisions for their families. Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. Parents devote their heart and soul to the job of raising children. Children should get 2 doses of the vaccine starting at age 1. Setting Boundaries With Your Self-Absorbed Adult Child, Toddler Tantrums: Hitting, Kicking, Scratching, and Biting. Ask Parent Coaching: What to Do When Your Child Says "I Don't Care" She feels disconnected, at loose ends. Dont assume youll never see your child again just because your 20-something son or daughter wants nothing to do with you this year. Dear Mulling, Thank you for sharing what sounds like a deeply complex dilemma. Sharing a secret with just one other person assumes it will eventually reach "unauthorized parties.". Stages are by definition temporary. Not even a little bit. But everything they do just seems to push their child further away. She doesnt care about the future. This can happen from time to time for anyone, and the feeling usually passes with time. Some other red flag symptoms for mental illness include: Any sudden, drastic, and abrupt change should be paid attention to. Anhedonia in depression: biological mechanisms and computational models. As children grow, they may develop values or beliefs that conflict with their parents', leading to tension. The treatment that they recommend will depend on your diagnosis but may involve medication, psychotherapy, or a combination of the two. It should be good enough to just get by. The formerly high performing young man is rejecting the importance of school achievement to which he was committed as a child and that his parents still are. Use your judgment when using natural consequences with teens, and regardless, make sure they know that you are always there for them and that you love them unconditionally. Q: My son is in seventh grade and is failing most classes. The teen may simply be bored or lonely. If your child acts like they don't care about consequences, they actually may care quite a lot about what you think of them and their behavior. Posted May 28, 2012 In addition to working with a doctor or therapist, you can also take steps on your own to improve your mood and take a greater interest in the world around you. Do you feel like you've lost interest in things you used to care about? document.getElementById( "ak_js_2" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); What Are the Red Flags in Teenage Behavior? To her parents, Amy seems less happy than she used to be. Not caring about anything can have a serious impact on your life. /* NP - Reduce the size of the College Admission Timeline - CTM 1/18/23 */ Trying to lift one's partner out of depression is well-intentioned but can actually lead to disconnection and distance. This school year, he is almost completely unmotivated to do any work in school. I think the problem is that these kids are motivated to resist, to withdraw, and to underperform. Sit him down and very seriously tell him that you have been thinking about what he has been telling you, and you will give him the chance to prove what he said; that he really doesn't need to go to school any more. Due to security reasons we are not able to show or modify cookies from other domains. FAQ: Children's Vaccines - WebMD Want more like this? When Id kiss her goodbye, she made it known I was embarrassing her and if she had a friend over, she acted. Mom and Dad are anxious about Amys lack of communication. Your use of the site indicates your agreement to be bound by our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book.". Remember those cliched but still wise words, "If you love something, set it free.". Motivating Your Son if He Doesn't Care About Anything border-left: 4px solid #000; Being a parent is hard. Research indicates that apathetic feelings tend to be quite common; studies suggest as many as 10 million adults in the U.S. are affected by such feelings. This article discusses some of the signs that youve stopped caring and what causes this type of feeling. Is your impression correct? It is only normal for a parent to fret over this kind of behavior in their child. Remain attentive and alert so you will be aware if the moods swing wildly, or if the teen seems depressed. Sometimes a teen begins acting differently; they no longer behave like their usual self. If you or a loved one are struggling with depression, contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357 for information on support and treatment facilities in your area. Message deleted by MNHQ. Steven Gans, MD is board-certified in psychiatry and is an active supervisor, teacher, and mentor at Massachusetts General Hospital. When a teen suddenly has no interest in activities he or she used to love, that could be depression. You: "I have so much to do and not sure how I am going to get it all done.". I dont care if you dont like how Im changing! an 11-year-old explodes as parents censor the new tough talk he has learned testing young manliness with male peers. Get support if you feel hurt, panicked, or angry at your child for cutting you off. It can signify something serious going on that warrants your attention. Parental support builds trust so that they feel comfortable telling you about what might be wrong or what they might be struggling with. Otherwise you will be prompted again when opening a new browser window or new a tab. Here's something you might consider. TMS: Stimulating the Brain Back to Health, The Curse of Apathy: Sources and Solutions, 3 Subtle Ways Depressed People Self-Sabotage, 5 Tips for Dating Someone Who Struggles With Depression, For Dads: What to Do, What Not to Do When Your Wife Has PPD. What Does Authenticity Look Like in Romantic Relationships? If a cluster of these symptoms is present it is time to have them assessed, first by the doctor. Taking some physical, mental, and emotional space from parents is a normal part of becoming an adult. Health & Parenting Guide - Your Guide to Raising a Happy Its possible for learning disabilities to show up at an older age, even if they didnt seem obvious during the elementary years. Theyre considered normal for people Amys age. Related: A+ Parenting: 9 Tips to Boost Bad Grades. Click to enable/disable essential site cookies. Sit on your hands and dont act on your feelings. The sulking teen is not all that rare. It also will help foster compassion, which decreases the likelihood that your child will be ungrateful. He went to school like that, they tell me simultaneously. However, defensive behavior is a sign of insecurity. What To Do When Your Teen Is Failing School And Doesnt Care, What to Do When Your Teen is Failing School and Doesnt Care, Volume of reading is too high or the material is too complex, Difficulty balancing academics and sports or other activities, Not enough time to do all the work (might need to prioritize), Mental health needs to be addressed maybe bullying or another issue is impacting your. My son doesn't care about anything 5 tips on how to motivate an Contact the team today and arrange for an assessment. Follow Now: Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts. The mere act of talking about how you feel is not always therapeutic. They might be avoiding friends or social events. Try to figure out what is stopping them from completing their work. According to the adult children surveyed, the most common reasons they estranged from their parents are: Emotional abuse Conflicting expectations regarding family roles Differences in values Neglect or uninvolved parenting Problems related to mental health issues A traumatic family event It's a mysterious package, delivered by subtle sensory clues. | My 12-year-old son doesn't doesn't care about anything. .rll-youtube-player, [data-lazy-src]{display:none !important;}. My situation different .now I am a 52 year old mom.i took care of my son til 3 years ago.he moved with a girl..from my past .I vowed to b ther for my kids til the death. When a Child Doesn't Care About Consequences Check to enable permanent hiding of message bar and refuse all cookies if you do not opt in. My 13 year old doesn't care about school? - Parenting Stack Exchange You might also let them decide whether they want to be assessed. Yet separation from parents can be a tumultuous process that feels anything but normal. Its Trying to Save Us. Does he have to use that time reading if he says he doesn't have homework? You also kill an important learning opportunity. To ground them? Partner: "You think you have a lot going on, let me tell you . I know you have. Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book.". By continuing to browse the site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. window.adthriveCLS.buildDate="2023-07-06";var C=new (function(){function a(){}a.prototype.info=function(b,c){for(var d=[],e=2;eHandling a 17 Year Old Son When He Refuses to Do Things We want it to happen organically, of course, and I dont think its going to if I keep shoving cleanliness, organization, working harder in school, and acne pads down his throat. I love picking him up; there's something about seeing him with his friends and the visceral relief you see in their smiles. Co-parenting with an ex-partner who was abusive is often not possible and can become the arena for further abuse. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Strategies that might help include trying new things, talking to different people, or making plans with a friend. Sit down and have a conversation with your teen, without judgment. But he doesnt want to play sports; he couldnt care less if he was wearing clean clothes or has deodorant on or if all his friends are in the National Honor Society, and he could be too if he tried just a bit more. They started the Grown and Flown Parents Facebook Group and are co-authors of Grown and Flown: How to Support Your Teen, Stay Close as a Family, and Raise Independent Adults (Flatiron Books) now in paperback. Research has found that people who experience more apathy are also more likely to report more feelings of anhedonia, suggesting the two are closely connected. Chronic stress and traumatic events can also play a part in causing feelings of disinterest. Friend: "At least you have a job or daughter.". Hunter Biden's Daughter and a Tale of Two Families How to Handle Disappointment with your Adult Child - Empowering Parents But then there are real family crisesauto accidents, illnesses, layoffs, house fires, the list goes onwhen families should work together. this._timeOrigin)}catch(b){return 0}};return a}();window.adthrive.windowPerformance=window.adthrive.windowPerformance||new g;g=window.adthrive.windowPerformance;g.now.bind(g);var p=function(a){var b=window.location.href;return a.some(function(c){return(new RegExp(c,"i")).test(b)})};g=function(){function a(b){this.adthrive=b;this.video=this.recipe=this.content=this.all=!1;this.locations=new Set;this.reasons=new Set;if(this.urlHasEmail(window.location.href)||this.urlHasEmail(window.document.referrer))this.all= But supporting their dreams likely will. For example, if you feel like you don't care about school or your future, you might not have the will to even both trying. If you refuse cookies we will remove all set cookies in our domain. Hopeless, helpless, pessimistic, fatalistic, when the young person loses sight of what used to matter they may need help reviving their sense of positive purpose in life to restore healthy functioning. Feb 2007. Parents can get their feelings hurt. Is there a set time and place free of TV, computer, stereo, etc. Parenting is one of the most complex and challenging jobs you'll face in your lifetime -- but also the most rewarding. The effect of substance use is an altered psychological state. You dont have to navigate this alone. My Child Doesn't Listen! ADHD / ADD Behavior Fixes for Kids - ADDitude Instead, ask then "what do YOU think?" or "what do YOU think happened?" Hosted by therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast shares how to stay motivated and focused even when you don't want to. When regular use of alcohol, marijuana, or other psychoactive drugs becomes established, a loss of normal caring can disable effort. Information on our advertising guidelines can be found. American Psychological Association. But the simple truth is that your attempts to motivate your child are probably working against you. If it becomes a power struggle, its not likely to help motivate your teen to care. Sandbox Learning is part of Sandbox & Co., a digital learning company. Is your impression correct? Leer en espaol. Sorted by: 1. We recommend our. We raised him to be a good kid and a good adult; you have raised your kid to be a good human, too. Falling grades or apathy about school may be a sign that your teen needs you more than ever. It's a mysterious package, delivered by subtle sensory clues. She looks downcast all the time. Apathy at this juncture doesnt heal the suffering, but it does defend against becoming enamored again anytime soon. That might help put things into perspective and show him that doing well in school impacts other parts of his life. From choosing baby's name to helping a teenager choose a college, you'll make . Your teen just doesnt care. !0,this.reasons.add("all_email");try{this.checkCommandQueue(),null!==document.querySelector(".tag-novideo")&&(this.video=!0,this.locations.add("Video"),this.reasons.add("video_tag"))}catch(c){C.error("ClsDisableAds","checkCommandQueue",c)}}a.prototype.checkCommandQueue=function(){var b=this;this.adthrive&&this.adthrive.cmd&&this.adthrive.cmd.forEach(function(c){c=c.toString();var d=b.extractAPICall(c,"disableAds");d&&b.disableAllAds(b.extractPatterns(d));(d=b.extractAPICall(c,"disableContentAds"))&& .home-catimeline .wp-block-group { Changes will take effect once you reload the page. The Real Lives of Women Who Never Have Children, The Payoff for Speaking Up About Not Having Kids, 3 Reasons Why Adult Children May Treat Their Parents Like Dirt. So he opted to go back to high school. An Elite Cafemedia Family & Parenting Publisher. You just met The One or maybe a shady character. Teenagers arent full-fledged adults yet, and they are still developing their executive function skills. As my oldest child ends her sophomore year of college, I can finally come up for air and assess the damages (as well as the wins) of my pre-college/college parenting thus far. This is particularly true if your inability to feel interested and concerned is affecting your ability to deal with your daily life. What do they want to achieve when they grow up? Read on for some helpful tips. But the child sees it as the only way to have control over what's going on around him. How to Tell If Someone Doesn't Care About You Most important of all, ensure that your child knows that you will always love them, no matter their grades. Remember though the short-term goals need to align with what your kids want to achieve. When we start to look more closely at what's causing the kinds of reactive behaviors listed above, we discover that complex kids usually have an emotionally charged relationship with some (or many) aspects of school -- whether it's social, academic, self-esteem, or a combination of them. Social support is critical for mental well-being. doi:10.1001/jamanetworkopen.2020.13233, Cooper JA, Arulpragasam AR, Treadway MT. 25570 If you complain that; "My son doesn't care about me", then you are one of those thousands of parents who have a disconnection with their son. Verywell Mind's content is for informational and educational purposes only. It might just be your teen wanting to defy you, or maybe they really don't careabout anything. Another impact of substance use on apathy is not caring about consequences and engaging in dangerous risk-taking. But mother to mother, lets let go of that thought and the fact they could be doing so much more with their life right now despite our support and our nagging and focus on the positive things they bring to the table because there are many. Encourage independence. The less you push, plead, and nag, the sooner your child will take responsibility. Sleep problems, like sleeping too much or trouble sleeping. Theres nothing I care to do! moans the early adolescent (around ages 9-13) at a loss of how she can occupy herself. He doesnt skip school; he gets his work done by the skin of his teeth, and he takes care of me when I get sick since his father moved out. Figuring out some of the reasons why you might be feeling this sense of indifference can help you figure out what steps you might need to take next. Parenting as a people pleaser makes parenting even more difficult. In either case, parents should push for an assessment of use, and if advised, see about getting substance use counseling, treatment, or support group help. My son knew himself best and he thrived after we started listening to what he knew was best for himself. You always can block or delete cookies by changing your browser settings and force blocking all cookies on this website. His statement of apathy in this situation is really bravado speaking. Helping others in need will decrease your child's self-centered outlook. /* Fix to remove stick from nav menu */ Click below to listen now. If you suspect your teen is struggling with depression or anxiety, its time to visit a doctor for some input. These cookies are strictly necessary to provide you with services available through our website and to use some of its features. The offers that appear in this table are from partnerships from which Verywell Mind receives compensation. If you ever sense teenagers are not taking your feelings into account, it's probably because they're just incapable of doing so. In most cases, it's possible to enjoy a relationship with your child again later. Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. You plead, you yell, you bribenothing seems to get through to your teen. Feeling as if you dont care about anything anymore may be related to anhedonia or apathy. If youre struggling with feelings of apathy, disinterest, and lack of pleasure, seeking professional treatment should be your first step. Is this their response to your threat to take their phone away? You wonder if its something youve done, if youve pushed too hard or not enough. A: You say you have talked with his teachers and counselors. Taking some physical, mental, and emotional space from parents is a normal part of becoming an adult. (If you have kids in their 20s, Im guessing you havent been living with your parents all this time.). What to Do When Your Teen is Failing School and Doesn't Care Even if its just in the car on the way to practice, try to carve out some time for you and your teen to be together and enjoy each others company. Do This Instead. We fully respect if you want to refuse cookies but to avoid asking you again and again kindly allow us to store a cookie for that. What Does Authenticity Look Like in Romantic Relationships? You are free to opt out any time or opt in for other cookies to get a better experience. It can be tempting to swoop in and save our kids at the last minute, but its better for them to learn the consequences of their actions while they are young. July 1, 2023. How to Motivate a Teenager Who Doesn't Care in 5 Ways! 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved. There are many ways for teens to succeed that dont revolve around their grades. It is an expression of loneliness. 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my son doesn't care about anything