my wife is not beautiful islam

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Even a man like Raul who slept with many girls before he found out physical attraction is temporary and one gets bored.wanted a pious woman when he wanted to get married. Choose to nurture your marriage and be a kind, attentive, forgiving husband. Ameli, meaning "my hope" is used to describe a significant other in your life that gives you strength. My parents were impatient to get me married off., He is honestly not in my heart at all, as my parents forced me, Forced to marry my first cousin, but I loved another man. 2- Not approving of a girl whom he chooses, but their objection is for legitimate shar'i reasons, such as if she has a bad reputation, or she is not Muslim - even though marriage to a Christian or Jewish woman is basically permissible. I proposed marriage to a religious girl, but she is not beautiful They also have in-person classes in Canada. have been enjoined to do. These are real feelings. His wife feels his coldness before and even after marriage. A Reader on Calling to Allah, Giving Advice, and Commanding the Good, A Reader on Patience and Reliance on Allah. Do focus on those qualities of her, and be grateful to Allah for a wife who is loving and pious. I do not blame Thabit for any defect in his character or in his religion, but I do not want to commit an act of kufr (being an ungrateful wife and someone who does not fulfill the rights of husband) after becoming Muslim. The Prophet of Allah (S) said, Will you give back his garden? Because Thabit had given her a garden as her mahr. the level of beauty that you are happy with, so that it will not be a matter The images don't look much like me; the generative-AI models that spat them out seem to have been trained on my official U.S. government portrait, taken when I was six months pregnant. look for one who is religiously committed and of good character, to stop Physical attraction is something that does not grow over time. Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The words of al-Qaari Sharh Saheeh al-Bukhaari He shouted to his sleeping wife, "Don't let him take away my life." "Please go away, O Angel of Death! Happy Anniversary! with them honourably. marries her. My question is: why waste all these times? This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. I Discovered My Wife Was Not a Virgin However, with age as beauty starts to fade a little, then other qualities will kick in, and keep the marriage intact. everything else. I want to avoid adultery. So long as you are not able to marry another wife, then you should keep the wife with whom Allaah has blessed you. It means the body attracts and that will never work in a marriage coz some day or the other you will get attracted to another females body what then? the days (good and not so good), that We give to men by turns. I know couples who feel attracted to each other experience these feelings. I Was Married Before I Entered Islam. 5. However, if you are attracted physically to someone, you know that you are attracted. al-Baab il-Maftooh Since Bareerah did not like Mughith, she dissolved the marriage after she got freed. She has dreams of spending a good life with you, has children with you and beautifying your home with you while you have the responsibility of providing for her needs. I have seen many women who are very beautiful up until their late 50s. Soften her heart through gifts. marry her. I would like to mention in this regard that while we are at fault for marrying just by looking at pictures, the parents of daughters are also at fault majority of times. 4 Ways to Greet in Islam - wikiHow My wife is not beautiful!! - Islam Question & Answer note that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told Islamic Marriage: Guidance for Successful Marriage and Married Life, No YellingAnd 9 Other Rules For Fair Fighting. Source: I am not a man, and I don't really know for sure what men look for in women, physically speaking. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You have sought advice for three aspects of your marital life that include, how to be more attracted to your wife and find her more beautiful than other girls. It is either there or it is not there. Similarly it is not permissible for the wife to try to prove she is better than the husband. Everyone has a standard of beauty. If not, I don't think you should be recommending divorce as a first optionbecause we don't know for sure whether you have worked out your issues to the point that your next relationship has turned out the way you hope it will be. The guy admiring his wife motivation fully cooperates with his wife, even consult a therapist recommended by his wife and after six months of marriage and hard work of both couples, they are expecting a boy. Because for those who truly fear Allah, Allah provides for them from a source they cannot imagine. 17 Islamic Love Quotes For Wife - Muslims-life.net The first thing to do is: try to forget about the image and expectations you had in mind before marriage. will be generated between them, and will create a happy family, based on May Allaah help you, protect you and make you steadfast in following the path of goodness and truth. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". I am going to give you a very harsh advice, but this worldly life turns out to be very harsh sometimes. Initially the two people do not know each other. 112816. However, no matter how much we plan, sometimes life does not turn out as we plan it to be. This is FACT not meaning to discriminate but MEN who look at women being attractive or not need to think twice before marrying them. These are real feelings. I can relate with you, because I myself have went through a similar experience like you: got married by looking at a picture, then found my spouse unattractive, and then divorced her four months after marriage. Also, if you are truly attracted to someone, you will feel excited when you will see that person. obeys him, and she does not go against his wishes with regard to herself or She is, at the end of the day, your wife and your closest companion. with through them, or your kindness towards them although you dislike them. Messenger chose that which is best in the long-term and emphasized its DO not play with peoples emotions or hurt another JUST because beauty is everything to you. What Secret Male Sexual Fantasy Is Surprisingly Common? She loves him but he cannot stand her because she is not beautiful Mugheeth was in deep love with Bareerah, but Bareerah did not like Mugheeth at all. rights in full, and give her the same share as the second wife, which is I Am Passionate About Islam but My Wife Is Not. What Should I Do? Now, after 32 . But now that you are in this dilemma, you have no other option but divorce. When there is no physical attraction in a marriage, spouses do not feel those feelings. My Husband Is Not Practicing: What Can I Do To Make Him A Better Muslim? [CDATA[ Attraction is a complicated science. I try to motivate her to read Quran and pray together, but she doesnt like it. He said: The one who, Should I Advise My Husband Islamically or Remain Silent?My Husband Doesnt Pray: How Do I Advise Him?My Husband Is Not Practicing: What Can I Do To Make Him A Better Muslim?A Reader on Calling to Allah, Giving Advice, and Commanding the GoodA Reader on Patience and Reliance on AllahWhat Are Some Prophetic Supplications That Can Help Me Deal With Trials in My Life? Rather both of them must treat the other kindly. It is well known 3- version narrated by Muslim she said: This was revealed concerning a woman Attraction is a complicated science. 12- You two were made for each other and nothing else matters. many points in our answer, and we hope that you will pay attention to what religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you Its an online learning platform overseen by Sheikh Faraz Rabbani. The institution of marriage is founded on sex drive along with the faithfulness of couple involved. Please click on the link below to read the article. Inshallah, Beauty is skin deep and there is not that much wrong in sending you photo which were little old. Khitan or Khatna (Arabic: , Arabic: ) is the term for male circumcision carried out as a cultural rite by Muslims and is considered a sign of belonging to the wider Islamic community. There is no in between and there is no gradual build up. has no right to demand anything after it has been agreed. The definition of that beauty will vary from one person to She gets irritated if I talk about Islam, and prefers that I speak about worldly things. It has reached a stage where I think that I do not love her, and I have started to shun her in bed, and she has been harmed by that a great deal, but she loves me, and I am afraid that if I divorce her, she will be greatly affected by that. Can you express your love for her more frequently? 4 You should woman, to start by asking about her beauty first, then about her religious Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. of her husband, and the good way in which she raises her children. Astagferullah, I do not mean to put it that way, as Allah (swt) created all of us and we are ALL attractive in our own ways. You also need to ponder on the fact that she is the one who was destined to be with you from Allah. Whatever the For those who naively believe that physical attraction grows with time, know that research showed otherwise. Dealing with hurtful relatives - Islam Question & Answer Well hopefully! And what sex drive are you talking about? give to your second wife. 8391 and This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. And people don't really change that much over the span of a year or two, so it is highly unlikely that her looks have really changed in that short period. reject the word or deny that love exists, rather it is to point out Losing my virginity as a young Muslim woman | SBS Life The authors of the new study, which was published in the journal Scientific Reports on Thursday, believe that the Ivory Lady held a high rank and was revered by the society in which she lived for . asked a woman whether she felt hatred towards her husband? Is it fair for the girl to spend her life with someone who is not excited about her or who is not feeling physical attraction to her? How she behaves and treats you and many things which are ultimately more important than appearance. The society? What is her love language? I did not feel love resonating my heart. So long as you are not able to marry another wife, then you should keep the wife with whom Allaah has blessed you. that you dislike a thing and Allaah brings through it a great deal of good, mean: perhaps However, my love did not qualify as the special form of love that exists between a husband and a wife, which brings them to marital intimacy. So naturally your sex drive is low but you can improve your martial relation if her personality is motivation. Some couples will say that they are in love but it is more infatuation at first because true love comes with time. To be honest, there is no science that can actually explain attraction. The problem, as you mention, is a financial problem. Happy Birthday, my beautiful wife. Imam Verily in that are signs for those who reflect. [Quran 30:21]. verse) And if a woman fears cruelty or desertion on her husbands part, It sounds like your wife misses you, and feels annoyed that when you do talk to her, all you do is lecture her. As this is how most people are, the hadeeth urges them to From Sahl ibn Sad (may Allaah be pleased with him): A woman came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: O Messenger of Allaah, I have come to give myself to you (in marriage). The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) looked at her closely, then he lowered his head. If you have that tawakkul upon Allah, and if you truly believe that Allah is the best of all providers, and also if you believe that nothing is impossible for Allah, then dont you think that Allah can provide for a divorced lady with a much better husband? What will bring them together is beauty/physical attraction. The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. So long as you are not able to marry another wife, then you should keep the wife with whom Allaah has blessed you. Ayyub's mother was the daughter of Prophet Lut and his wife was a direct descendant of Prophet Yusuf. patient. I did not feel love resonating my heart. It just does not. It is a grave mistake. This what makes the world a happier place. commanded husbands to treat their wives kindly, and He tells them that they This leads me to one of my main points against Muhammad and Islam: carnal pleasure was the best Muhammad could come up with because he did not know the beautiful presence of the One true God, he did not know the personal, intimate, love of Christ. Can you spend more quality time with her? that it is mustahabb to seek beauty in ones intended wife does not mean So if you No, not at all. (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told us of that which is The Prayer of Need (Salat al-Hajah) or Istikhara? It is common sense. You will definitely see a positive difference in your relationship. There is no in between and there is no gradual build up. I was on the brink of nervous breakdown quite a few times at work. people in all things, because the one who keeps company with them will and having children. if you keep them, Allaah will grant you a great deal of good because of your My friend physical attraction is temporary after a while you get bored.You see life is not about sex and mainstream media promotes thisIn islam we look for piety first. The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. ?My moulana would say not too much or you lose the noor on your face.How true. Umdat Should I let my future partner know about a previous relationship? window.__mirage2 = {petok:"jtepLVbvds_miPmDZgTZm8OWT2d7fjX8X6AET5sowzY-1800-0"}; Behind every great man is not a woman, she is beside him, she is with him, not behind him 2. about her beauty. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Guess Who? It's often referred to as a gateway into the soul. Log in, Join our e-mail list for regular site news and updates, All Rights Reserved for Islam Q&A 1997-2023. She was . My advice is to make sincere dua for your wife, lead by example, and choose your timing for giving advice. Verily, from Allah we came and to him we return. My Husband Doesnt Pray: How Do I Advise Him? us that beauty is one of the things for which a woman may be married, but he Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani. I hope and pray that whatever you decide that it is better for the both of you and may Allah always shower HIS beautiful blessings onto you and your family. Since the beginning of time, eyes have been used as a means to convey emotions and the beauty of women in general. And the Seriously? It was there constantly. 81890. I did not feel any butterfly in my stomach. And it is the mercy of Allah that He has permitted divorce. And the only thing that really came to mind is that these people probably felt drawn to this attraction because it was something new and "forbidden" compared to their aging and comfortable marriages. I see that part 2 and part 3 have been published above whereas part 1 is missing. After picture, then might come seeing in real life, if you are lucky. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. righteous child from her, and in the Hereafter he may be greatly rewarded life. In the saheeh hadeeth it says: No believing man should hate a believing Look at the matter from different aspects. If you had a daughter, would you ever want your daughter to live life with someone who cannot reciprocate her genuine love? Do you prefer to communicate with girls who look pretty in their profile picture? lives are and how their children grow up. By clicking Accept, you consent to the use of cookies. This forces the man to spend all of his energy and age in building his status. The name of the male slave was Mugeeth. I'm just about to be married myself. You need to amplify your sex drive by doing games, visit gym and reduce stress related to job. Good Muslim women who are not beautiful also want husbands Fear Allah as He should be feared, and die not except in the state of Islam (as Muslims) with complete submission to Allah.' And: 'O mankind! She would be good teacher for your children and take good care of you. These feelings are not feelings of Hollywood movies. I'm also about to get married, I have a genuine question for you please. InshaAllah after you have more communication with her and you both are able to enjoy intimacy as a married couple, things would be much better. With all these examples, it is therefore downright foolish how parents and women now a days deny the role of physical attraction, when the guidance of the Messenger of Allah (S) says otherwise. That is because it is known that people seek beauty first and I am in this field and I know it. so on. Some hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper). Narrated by al-Bukhaari She said: There is nothing Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2548) and But you have to lower your gaze and ask Allah to help you in this and grant you happiness and contentment. A teen was lost for just over 2 days in the wilderness things. The problem, as you mention, is a financial problem. Men cannot not rise above physical beauty. Choose the one who is We use cookies on IslamQA to measure visitor stats. And Allaah is If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a 4 Imagine that you find a very beautiful woman and marry her then she starts to treat you in an arrogant or impolite manner or she treats you and your family badly what would you do?! narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet Also, if you are truly attracted to someone, you will feel excited when you will see that person. of your time, but you keep her as a wife and look after her and see her; you he should ask about her beauty first, and if good things are said, he should Learn how to recognize a manipulative or controlling relationship. great deal of good in this world and in the Hereafter, as Ibn Abbaas said There are many sweet things to say to your wife, but we all sometimes need a bit of help in choosing them. him): If he dislikes one of her characteristics he will be pleased with I think you need to look at the deen character, inner qualities unfortunately I am seeing this isnt the case anymore. If you met her Islamically and got married the sunnah way, then it will all take some time. A Reader on Patience and Reliance on Allah A good wife is indeed a gift from Allah and same goes for a good husband. Umar also It is either there or it is not there. *** If the Messenger of Allah (R) NEVER forced something upon someones heart, how can we think that forcing this brother to continue this marriage will work out in the future? A man may dislike his wife for some reason, but he shows I am a 28-year-old man. So, it would be best to deal with her gently. 83777 Publication : 02-05-2006 Views : 112528 en Question I proposed marriage to a girl who is very religious but she is not beautiful, and I want a wife who is more beautiful. That is true for almost all religions. What Are Some Prophetic Supplications That Can Help Me Deal With Trials in My Life? How should he deal with this woman? accordance with the Sunnah and it is the correct way and there is no May I please ask a genuine question? their focus in all things, especially in long-term matters. My Husband Doesnt Pray: How Do I Advise Him? Death - A Beautiful Gift For A Believer | Al-Islam.org Answer Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the World; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions. Allah (swt) and HIS messengers (peace be upon all of them) advised us to chose someone that has the qualities that are good for us. ( i am Male) That is why the even the companions and the prophets of Allah married after looking. And read the story below how a man broke down psychologically in marriage for he was not physically attracted to his wife. I don't find her attractive | IslamicAnswers.com: Islamic Advice I knew my family wouldnt approve of our marriage, but I was weak. Complete Story Of Prophet Ayyub (With Pictures) - MyIslam You will definitely see a positive difference in your relationship. last resort as it says in al-Mawsooah al-Fiqhiyyah (29/9): It is Although the marriage appeared to be perfect outside, there was a big piece missing in it. . Muhammad, Islam, and Sex - Answering Islam Let them see each other from the very beginning and then proceed to check with other compatibility issues. spends some time with his wife then he starts to dislike her, or he is There must have been a good reason that Allah chose that particular girl for you and your future family that you will build together InshaAllah. Islam Q&A, You can ask your question on the website via this link: https://islamqa.info/en/ask, Password should contain small, capital letter and at least 8 characters long, Log in With regard to your question, I offer the following comments: 1 The problem you have is not with regard to marrying a second wife, or divorcing your wife. According to a "The angel knocked again and again, "Friend! beginning of the answer, and as it is well known that it is haraam to Dont use them as bribes for better behaviour, but give sincerely, out of love and appreciation for her. June 28, 2023. InshaAllah this course will help you understand the spirit and the law behind a successful Islamic marriage. Sarah - Wikipedia 1 Allaah has Is that I am trying to discover my beautiful dream girl in her? So my dear brother, whatever happened has happened. who is married to a man, and he no longer wants to be intimate her, but she This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. First, I think that you need to get over the idea that your wife "deceived" you. Views : man should hate a believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics may dislike their wives in some ways but they should not hasten to divorce Do not dismiss these feelings as feelings of Hollywood movies. We talked, ate together, went out together, and did many other activities together. I was looking for a pious wife because of all the benefitsto a long successful relationship!! Islam. I agree with your concerns to man nature but consider the role society plays in forming that character. 1424; and by al- Daaraqutni, 3/253 (34)) Notice that in this example, the Messenger of Allah (S) did not say, How is her deen? Rather the first thing he (S) asked was, Have you seen her? From al-Mugheerah ibn Shubah: I proposed marriage to a woman, and the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: Have you seen her? I said, No. He said, Look at her, because it is more fitting that love and compatibility be established between you. According to another report: So he did that, and he married her and mentioned that they got along. (Reported by al- Daaraqutni, 3/252 (31, 32); Ibn Maajah, 1/574) In this example, the Messenger of Allah (S) clearly mentions that love initially is created based on looks. Expect some changes but if you cannot stand her right now and respect her for who she is then perhaps consult with an Imam and then free her. Should I Advise My Husband Islamically or Remain Silent? of despair, misery, doubts and suspicion. intermission .See in islam we should see the person personally and ask her some questions before you get nikkah.There is no such thing as arranged marriage in Islam.People have followed culture and some old habits.For myself im european lisbon and shes gujarati Indian. The one who wants to get What is the right thing to do?. I'm worried silly now thinking what if my husband doesn't find me attractive after we marry although we've seen each other a few times and spoken quite a bit. This is plain insulting and unpleasant for all. 51 Islamic Quotes on Death: 1. Look at the happiness and harmony The society looks for a high standard guy as their daughters study only till 10th or 12th most of them don't even go to college. What i mean is that one should not delay in marriage of their daughter and sons as woman natural beauty declines naturally with age and male expectancy of woman's beauty and sensibility rises with age. It does not store any personal data. This is not to My Wife isn't as Attractive as I Expected the final option, which is to divorce her and part from her in a kind Sharh Muntaha al-Iraadaat, which is a Hanbali book (2/621): It is also If the families prefer a man with best of character and a normal mediocre job at young age, he should have no problem in satisfying a woman with ordinary look because of high sex drive at that age. Source: thing and Allaah brings through it a great deal of good. objection, wonder, veneration and encouragement, and this is what is meant She constantly wants my attention and dives into worldly things like TV. Should the girl spend her whole life without sex or divorce will be a better alternative? Hence the A Reader on Calling to Allah, Giving Advice, and Commanding the Good, A Reader on Patience and Reliance on Allah. This solution is mentioned in the Book of Allaah, About Islam Search Toggle Menu. We say: This is mentioned in the I will provide two examples from the life of the Messenger of Allah (S), where he (S) did not force people to continue marriage in the absence of physical attraction. The way I see it YOU did wrong to your wife. 2- Non-financial rights. usually how it is among wise and noble people. Do not dismiss these feelings as feelings of Hollywood movies. It was However, make sure that you are providing for the investment she is putting on herself for your sake. Help her feel loved, in a way which she understands. It's a shame an utter shame to see guys look at a girls outer beauty than the inner beauty.. For all you know your wife could be amazing in giving pleasure during sex * if that's what you are looking at*. Make a daily choice to overlook her faults and thank her for what she does well. 01:50. and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was speaking of what people usually do, This is in Albi. What do think should happen? Yes, she will have the tag of divorcee, but so what? My dear brother, I appreciate your confidence in me and I ask Allaah to make us and you strong and steadfast, and to guide us. From Abu Hurayrah: I was with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when a man came and told him that he had married a woman of the Ansaar. I believe that any couple formed with age 30(male)/25(female) is the most ideal one as no one at this age-level will be over demanding. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): But For instance, you can ask her politely to wear light makeup, or have a certain hair-cut, etc. The brother in this post needs to increase his sex drive by indulging in sports and avoid stress so that he no longer needs the attractive face to get excited. You have a wife that by chance is not good looking according to your standards and there is one vital factor involved i.e. The prophet helped out around the house, serving his family often.