Life Lessons: 3 of Swords
The romantic in me decided to use The Heart Tarot to pull a Valentine’s Card for February, and the optimist in me thought it would be a great idea to encourage the love of my life to formulate a question and pull a card. The question he shuffled into the cards was “What can I do to improve the most important relationship in my life?”
“Odd”, I thought, “Why can’t he just ask about me by name?” But he is a bit odd like that. So I went with the flow. I shuffled the cards a bit, he shuffled the cards a lot, to put his full energy in there. He pulled the card out with panache, threw it on the table, and called out “YES! I couldn’t have pulled a better card than that!”
They say in moments of stress your brain works much faster than your language can process it. So all in a matter of a few seconds, I had considered pretty much everything that the card had represented to me. Were we going to separate? But we were getting on so well! Was he having an affair? I know we have had trust issues, but… Why would the card send me such a painful message? What had I done to deserve this? When I last saw this card in the Summer holidays (in the future position) it annoyed my daughter terribly (“the cards must be wrong, thing is really silly”)…. but to be fair she ditched her grand plans to visit Laos with her boyfriend, and came home alone for Christmas… I haven’t yet had the opportunity to pry for the details… but the time will come!
Meantime, Husband was dancing around as though calling for rain (which came, so maybe the Gods misunderstood), saying what a great message that was, how much there was to learn from it. I was despairing. Our lodger is a little more perceptive than he is, so, trying to be helpful, she picked up the Little White book and started reciting: “distance, incommunicableness (I had no idea that was even a word till now). Gossip. Lack of communications in the couple. Relationships that are about to break up. Separation. Delaying of plans. Moral suffering. Solitude. An unattainable goal or shattered ideals.” So now I was very close to tears. To alleviate my stress I rolled a ciggie and we all went out for a smoke and a good long chat. I remained silent throughout, and listened.
The lodger was convinced the card was highlighting the issues he needs to concentrate on improving, rather making suggestions on how to torture me. I wanted to believe her, so badly. They decided that it was all in the question. Since he had asked what he could do to help the relationship, the cards were showing him which behaviours he needs to become aware of, and correct. And to be fair they are all reflective of issues which have arisen this year.
In fact he said to me “What was it you said to me in the car just an hour ago, before we pulled onto the M6?”
I replied “If the motorway is busy that’s the road to take instead, it goes straight to Warrington”.
“No, before that”.
“Can you take this mug of tea off me please?”
“No before that…. you told me that every time I get back [from his business trips] I mumble, that I have to speak more clearly”.
Well, that much is very true. He does mumble terribly, and it doesn’t help that I’m partially deaf. For years we argued about my selective hearing, until the hospital ran tests which proved I wasn’t doing it deliberately. So yes, we do need to work on our communication. But I still wasn’t convinced.
So I looked deeper into this card. And I started to feel a little different. It’s a reassuring card (reflective of a pack which is intended to bring love issues to light), unlike the RWS rendition of the 3 of Swords, dripping blood from a heart, with which most of us are so familiar. It portrays a gently lit, serene seascape, with a young girl (a mermaid? It’s hard to tell) sitting on a rock waving off a dolphin. The sunset sky reflects on the calm, shimmering water, exuding a warm, welcoming quality. And in the distance, a dolphin leaps away.
Now, ever since I saw a documentary revealing the truth about these deceptive creatures, dolphins have represented, to me at least, hidden defects (in particular, aggression and lust). While most folk perceive them to be very intelligent and helpful creatures (and they most certainly are, they have guided our yacht away from obstacles in the past, and I appreciate them sincerely), those who are aware of their true nature aren’t so easily fooled. So my understanding is that the dolphin our maiden is waving away represents carrying away deceit and pain, leaving us to learn from the experience, and to enjoy smooth, peaceful waters.
Suffice it to say that I have learnt that if a card I perceives as negative appears in a position of advice, I need to consider what I am asking the card. Clearly, the cards would never be advising my husband to inflict more moral suffering on his already tortured wife; so it must be advising us that these are behaviours to address and to avoid. That we need to look into the deep emotional issues which lie beneath the surface, probably stemming primarily from a lack of communication, and work on them to bring joy and regeneration in to our relationship. It took a while for me to realise that, but I do believe this is the message to take from this card.
And the great thing about this exercise? The discussion has already impacted on our relationship, and I am sure that these are issues which will remain clear in our hearts and minds; that if we do indeed take a lesson then hopefully our relationship will evolve to even greater levels of appreciation and gratitude. One of the first things I learnt on my tarot journey was that the cards tell us what we need to know, and once we know we can change our minds.
Edit… not to be beaten, I drew a card myself a few days later: Life Lessons: 10 of Cups]
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