Life Lessons: 4 of Cups
As this post publishes I am hopefully in a campervan on a three week trip, wading through fords in green valleys in The Emerald Land*, en-route to a retreat. A spiritual retreat, but run by monks and with a fair amount of bible bashing from what I understand.
Now, it’s not that I mind bible bashing, but I’m not really a Christian. Yes, I went to Church of England schools in the days when RE (Religious Education) lessons were compulsory; so I got a fairly decent grounding in the basic Bible stories, and a healthy enough fear of God to keep me out of any major trouble. In 6th Form I taught Sunday School at a church where I got myself baptised at 16 and then went to adult confirmation classes with a vicar who had been a plumber in a previous life, and who would drink wine and smoke cigarettes as we (me and the young mums hoping to get their kids into CofE schools) studied. I got into it to impress my boyfriend’s parents, but thoroughly enjoyed it and stuck it out till I left for teaching college – a direct result of my experience at Sunday School. An early example of synchronicity in my life.
Anyway, this retreat. It’s a Came to Believe retreat, which is based on the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous…. but with a religious twist (and religion, of course has been taken out of all 12 step fellowships a long time ago. It was taken out right at the very beginning, since it was causing discord between the Catholics and the Evangelicals in the religious belt, and it was causing contempt amongst the New Yorkers, who just weren’t into religion). I know this largely because I had a read of the text that is used at this retreat, and it said as much.
It also said that astrology is a sin. Seriously. And horoscopes. And witchcraft. And just in case you don’t believe me, I’ll post the extract below. It’s a part of their step 4, where they are asked to identify their defects of character. Really? Identifying as a witch is a defect? Using astrology to enhance our readings is a defect?
Adding insult to injury, we seem to be lumped in among the sexual deviants. It’s probably neither the time nor the place to analyse what they mean by sexual perversion, but I d have a habit of jumping to certain conclusions when I hear about that sort of stuff in the same context as the Catholic Church (I already know that judging is a defect I still carry with me, but hey ho, I judge lots of people, places and things to be GOOD too!)… and wait – is that “dirty jokes” I see there. Come on, now. Are we to relieve ourselves of ALL fun? I’m getting wound up just thinking about it!
If I’m going to be honest, I suspect this is why I booked to go. Because I can be an argumentative little madam when I want to be. Admittedly, I started looking into it all because people who I work with (most of my readings are with girls in recovery, and the NADA acupuncture course I have just started has a detox specialty) were coming back from these retreats all ooohey and aaahey; and quite frankly I want a dose of that serenity. But when I came across this extract, I was horrified. HOW can an organisation which sounds so cool be teaching this outdated nonsense? So, clearly I’ve been getting a little agitated about this, even though I know retreats are supposed to be really relaxing.
So obviously this month when I pulled my card I asked about how I should approach this retreat. And I pulled the Four of Cups. Now, at The Oldham TABI gathering back in March, it seemed the general take on the 4 of Cups is that he is a lazy arse bummer who needs to get off his backside and get on with his life. I thought that maybe he was just a super cool dude who was taking a bit of time out – but then I was pointed towards his general demeanour and insolent facial expressions. Yeah, I had to agree he seemed like a bit of a lazy arse. But this card is different from all the other 4 of Cups I have seen.
For starters, we have a girl. That girl could be me – even her hair is mine (perhaps a little longer, but we can always dream), and her wistful gaze into nowhere. And look where she is…. not under a tree, but laying by a pond which looks rather like a baptismal font, with her hand dipped in the water. The columns behind her remind me of those which adorn our church entrance. In fact, just looking at this card I am being taken back to those warm days of Sunday School, where everyone around was loving and supportive, and nothing was ever a problem, because it was all exactly the way it was supposed to be. No worries. Just take it easy. Cos every little thing’s gonna be alright!
So the message I think I am supposed to take away from this? Well, I think it might be to just relax and enjoy myself. I find myself wanting to let go of all the aspirations I had to change the way they teach and have been teaching since the 1930s. I need to take a little time out, and just enjoy the feelings of love and compassion which I am bound to feel there. I need to practise a little acceptance, to accept these people for who they are, and listen to what they have to say. And maybe take a little bit of their serenity and happiness away with me. To remember that I am going on a RETREAT. Can you get a more apt reminder than the 4 of Cups?
And rest assured…. I have posts up through the end of June already so that I can take it easy when I travel (being an avid traveller I try to work a month in advance where possible, and you have no idea how accommodating ALL our contributors are here at TABI, it’s an amazing place to do service – think about it!!!); so even if I do a Doreen** and come back a convert with my back turned to the divination tools we are gifted with, then at least you’ll have plenty of time to find a new wrangler!!!
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* For those of you unfamiliar with Ireland, it’s called the Emerald Land because it’s green – green because of all the rain. Last month a friend told me that in the South it had rained every day for the last 167 days. I’m guessing they might have had a few dry days recently, because we haven’t had ANY rain here in Liverpool (which is just across the Irish Sea) for months. I know that because we grassed over another friend’s grave about 6 weeks ago, and it’s been dry as a bone ever since. This is what we call Murphy’s Law in action. Murphy’s Law is worth googling.
** I’ll let you know the outcome in the comments below when I do get back to England, around mid June, just in time for the Summer Solstice! Doreen Virtue Spiritual Experience is also worth googling if you have no idea what I’m on about.
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