Agony Aunt: Benefits Cut
Dear Gael, I have been living on a disability allowance in the past, and I can’t go back to work for health reasons. Although I am now three years sober, and have addressed my Mental Health issues as best I can with the help of AA, I still have physical health problems. But they recently stopped my disability allowance, and now they have cut my benefits in half. How on Earth am I meant to survive on this? Love Maria
Maria was present in person for this reading and she drew three cards from my Gilded Tarot deck, which I love to use when reading for others due to it’s colourful details:
Ciro Marcetti, Gilded Tarot
Awareness: 5 of Swords
Acceptance: Queen of Cups Inverted
Action: The Devil
So, Maria, the 5 of Swords speaks to me of constant battles and shallow victory – in other words of winning the battle but not the war. You have indeed had to fight hard with the authorities to get the compensation you feel you are entitled to, and it hasn’t been easy. But you feel you hold the high moral ground, and have kept fighting as hard as you can.
But, when we look closely at this image, we see that even though our subject is claiming victory on this occasion, his adversaries aren’t quite finished, and he is in danger of them getting back up and coming back at him harder than ever. It seems that this is what has happened in your case… and indeed, one of my first ever notes in my journal about this card was the phrase “pride comes before a fall” This whole battle has drained you. Is it possible your pride and determination have led you to fight harder than necessary, causing this exhaustion?
The Queen of Cups inverted often literally refers to an alcoholic in her cups. And whilst you re not drinking at this moment, it seems that emotionally you are unsettled, and perhaps even losing your grip on reality. The ability to see things clearly is slipping away from you as you look at the situation around you through your own glasses, which simply aren’t clear at the moment.
This carries a message to be cautious… when we lose our emotional sobriety our serenity disappears – and stinking thinking leads to drinking! When we are looking for ways to avenge a situation, it means that we think we can do a better job than God himself. And this leads to a feeling of restlessness, irritability and discontent. We are in danger of losing it and falling back into our old ways.
The Devil has appeared to caution us against this. Well known as the card of addictions, in the position of Action He is NOT suggesting to us that we should pick up a glass to satisfy the beckoning of our old favourite addiction, but rather we should address our other defects that are leading us towards the temptation to do so.
Presumably you have done a detailed moral inventory of yourself and uncovered which of your defects lead you to drink as a way to drown your sorrows and escape the problems? Which, if any, of those defects do you feel slipping back into your life? It is important to recognise and address these issues before theyget out of hand and start to undermine the sanity you feel you have achieved through practising the program.
Overall I do feel that although you are in an unfortunate situation, a large part of the burden you are carrying lies in your own attitude. By practising gratitude for what we do have (no matter how little it may seem) we can ease the pressure on ourselves to have more. And true happiness is to be found within.
True happiness can be found regardless of the things we do or do not have. I have met perfectly happy monks living hand to mouth on the streets with no possessions but their robes and mobile phones. Yes, they are dependant on others for their generosity, as are you; but they also keep their expectations low, and practise gratitude regardless.
Let me just leave you with this thought:
Expectations are premeditated resentments.
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